General Information about Lolitas
The Lolita styles started in Japan around the mid nineties. They are for the most part based on the Victorian style clothing and etiquette that was popular in England during the 19th-20th centuries. There are many different styles within this general label, and you can go here to read about them all. They each have a bit of a different attitude and style of dress, but share some beliefs. Generally though, all lolitas are very well-mannered, quiet, and modest. They are romantics who dress in a way that reminds them of a past when manners were of the utmost importance and beauty was treasured and revered.
One important thing to keep in mind is that lolita is not just a fashion style, it is not cosplaying. Most self-proclaimed lolitas understand the importance of appearance, and thus are very deliberate in choosing their outfits and are always conscious of their manners and demeanor. Some may not be as polite as others, or smile as much, but there is still something about them that shows they do not completely fit in with current society and do not care to.
Although lolita styles started and mainly exist in Japan, there are many Americans and people from other countries who are interested in it, or consider themselves lolitas. Since it started in Japan, the most varieties of it can be found there; in America there are fewer since we do not have direct access to any Japanese brands.
Please also consider the famous Gothic & Lolita Bible, and notice the title has "&" in it. Not everything in it can be considered lolita, or gothic. Some things are just in there because they are related, and are also found in Harajuku/Shibuya. For example, the singer Kana is featured in it a lot as a model, but not a lot of what she wears can be considered lolita; most of it is just her own visual kei.